I have recently discovered Brene Brown via a TED talk that she did about vulnerability. Now I am "in love" - but like many others who fall in love, I am also prey to jealously and envy.
On one hand, I want Brene to be my new best friend - I seem to agree with everything that comes out of her mouth. "She gets me". But on the other, somewhat less perfect hand, I wish I WERE Brene. She is saying everything that I have been trying to say for so long..and to a much larger audience. She has a beautifully engaging website, a great Twitter following, lots of Friends on Facebook, two books and high paying speaking engagements.
This feeling of "not good enough" is a familiar block for me. I run into someone that is slightly smarter, more experienced, prettier, richer or otherwise better-er and I get stuck in my own mud. The urge to give up because someone is already doing it better than me is strong.
Yet, isn't this what the whole enchilada is all about? Noticing these blocks and then taking yet one more step forward? Without these challenges, would we ever stretch and grow at all?
I want to share a quote from Brene Brown's website, not because she is necessarily saying it any better, but because she is saying it and it is spot on!
Authenticity is a daily practice
Choosing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and allow ourselves to be vulnerable, exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are all made of strength and struggle and connected to each other through a loving and resilient human spirit; nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we let go of what we are supposed to be and embrace who we are.
Authenticity demands WHOLEHEARTED living and loving – even when it’s hard, even when we’re wrestling with the shame and fear of not being good enough, and especially when the joy is so intense that we’re afraid to let ourselves feel it.
Mindfully practicing authenticity during our most soul-searching struggles is how we invite GRACE, JOY and GRATITUDE into our lives.
-Brene Brown 2009
Here is the link to her TED Talk as well.
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
Friday, March 18, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Ultimate Dignity
After the earthquake in New Zealand I was fascinated with the degree of collaboration that citizens exhibited there. The resourcefulness, generosity and deep caring showed up in hundreds of ways – from setting up free kitchens in undamaged homes to organizing donation options from local schools. Since I often teach the importance of the mindset of the “we”, I was fascinated with any culture that is living that priority, even through unbelievable distress.
Like many others, I have been astounded by the calm dignity and restraint of the Japanese people in the face of what looks like Armageddon. Most of the time, I find myself ferverently hoping that we can all learn from such deep respectfulness.
American newscasters are asking the ridiculous question of “How does this make you feel?” Our media is addicted to the idea that the story is the emotion. I think the more important story might be “HOW do you access the dignity and resourcefulness that you ARE living, in spite of the fact that your world has basically disappeared?”
I have been fascinated by tsunamis since I was a child, so I am as glued to the TV as anyone else and appreciate that we now have lots of footage of actual tsunamis and the power of nature. Like everyone else, I long for logistical solutions to the suffering of these people. Yet, I think the most fascinating unfolding is watching a unique culture in its process toward healing.
Like many others, I have been astounded by the calm dignity and restraint of the Japanese people in the face of what looks like Armageddon. Most of the time, I find myself ferverently hoping that we can all learn from such deep respectfulness.
American newscasters are asking the ridiculous question of “How does this make you feel?” Our media is addicted to the idea that the story is the emotion. I think the more important story might be “HOW do you access the dignity and resourcefulness that you ARE living, in spite of the fact that your world has basically disappeared?”
I have been fascinated by tsunamis since I was a child, so I am as glued to the TV as anyone else and appreciate that we now have lots of footage of actual tsunamis and the power of nature. Like everyone else, I long for logistical solutions to the suffering of these people. Yet, I think the most fascinating unfolding is watching a unique culture in its process toward healing.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Money As Your Valentine
Happy Valentine’s Day to you all! This year I encourage you to use the holiday to think outside of your normal parameters, to stretch your consciousness a bit.
Have you ever celebrated Valentine’s Day with your Sweetheart? Or at least imagined sharing that perfect, romantic day of deep connection? Of course. Most of us have done this at some time along the way – even if it was during the 3rd grade Valentine’s card exchange.
Have you ever focused on celebrating the day with your own sweet heart? You know, the heart beating in your own chest? Lot’s of people encourage us to find ways to nurture ourselves on this Hallmark holiday designed for couples and capitalism.
But I am going to suggest something altogether different. FALL IN LOVE AND CELEBRATE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH MONEY – AS IF MONEY WERE A HUMAN BEING.
Ask yourself what are the qualities in a relationship that you value most? Then explore your relationship with money with these qualities in mind. Do YOU treat the money in your life as if you totally adore, respect and trust it? Do YOU treat the money in your life the way that you would like to be treated?
Unless you have been taking our 6 week series, Currency of Connection, I doubt that most of you have ever conceived of celebrating and adoring your relationship with money. It sounds like a bizarre or even possibly immoral idea. But, I am not suggesting that you WORSHIP money any more than I am suggesting that it is healthy to worship your partner in any human relationship. Instead, I am inviting you to play around with the question of how are YOU showing up in this particular relationship? Have you been placing the blame for your money issues on your partner? How do YOU treat the money in your relationship?
What if you use this holiday to open up to a new relationship - you and the money in your life? What if you choose to make that relationship healthy, respectful, mutually fulfilling, creative, generative and powerful? What would THAT look like?
May you and your Valentine have a special connection this Valentine’s Day!
Have you ever celebrated Valentine’s Day with your Sweetheart? Or at least imagined sharing that perfect, romantic day of deep connection? Of course. Most of us have done this at some time along the way – even if it was during the 3rd grade Valentine’s card exchange.
Have you ever focused on celebrating the day with your own sweet heart? You know, the heart beating in your own chest? Lot’s of people encourage us to find ways to nurture ourselves on this Hallmark holiday designed for couples and capitalism.
But I am going to suggest something altogether different. FALL IN LOVE AND CELEBRATE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH MONEY – AS IF MONEY WERE A HUMAN BEING.
Ask yourself what are the qualities in a relationship that you value most? Then explore your relationship with money with these qualities in mind. Do YOU treat the money in your life as if you totally adore, respect and trust it? Do YOU treat the money in your life the way that you would like to be treated?
Unless you have been taking our 6 week series, Currency of Connection, I doubt that most of you have ever conceived of celebrating and adoring your relationship with money. It sounds like a bizarre or even possibly immoral idea. But, I am not suggesting that you WORSHIP money any more than I am suggesting that it is healthy to worship your partner in any human relationship. Instead, I am inviting you to play around with the question of how are YOU showing up in this particular relationship? Have you been placing the blame for your money issues on your partner? How do YOU treat the money in your relationship?
What if you use this holiday to open up to a new relationship - you and the money in your life? What if you choose to make that relationship healthy, respectful, mutually fulfilling, creative, generative and powerful? What would THAT look like?
May you and your Valentine have a special connection this Valentine’s Day!
Monday, January 24, 2011
The Humming Sound of Being
I have recently become more and more involved with Global Sufficiency Network and keep finding new and exciting resources through them. I loved this poem from Soltermann. It seems that I am always challenging myself between Being and Doing, but I love this description of Being.
BE
E. Johannes Soltermann
“Tired and Happy”,
I used to answer
when asked, “How in the
world are you?”
Yes, tired I am.
having worked all day,
all week,
all year,
all life.
Gakko –
this word pops to mind.
It supposedly means
“World of Being.”
Have you ever experienced
the rain while the sun
shines?
Watched the bright crystals
drop fresh from the sky?
spilling all over the deep-
green plantain-leaves,
washing away every dust,
every doubt?
Being –
what a humming sound.
It transcends all the
hardships
that humans resist.
Go into the mindframe
of Being Here.
All crutches
will fall by the wayside.
Once we have chosen
to love ourselves –
what else
is there ever discovered?
Gakko.
The living is now.
Breathe.
Love.
Be.
BE
E. Johannes Soltermann
“Tired and Happy”,
I used to answer
when asked, “How in the
world are you?”
Yes, tired I am.
having worked all day,
all week,
all year,
all life.
Gakko –
this word pops to mind.
It supposedly means
“World of Being.”
Have you ever experienced
the rain while the sun
shines?
Watched the bright crystals
drop fresh from the sky?
spilling all over the deep-
green plantain-leaves,
washing away every dust,
every doubt?
Being –
what a humming sound.
It transcends all the
hardships
that humans resist.
Go into the mindframe
of Being Here.
All crutches
will fall by the wayside.
Once we have chosen
to love ourselves –
what else
is there ever discovered?
Gakko.
The living is now.
Breathe.
Love.
Be.
Monday, July 5, 2010
No More Carrots and Sticks
For those of you who enjoyed Daniel Pink’s book, A Whole New Mind, I want to enthusiastically recommend his newest book, Drive, The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us.
I’m guessing that it won’t really be too surprising” for many of you to learn that it is the intrinsic value of an activity itself that actually motivates us to high levels of productivity, creativity and accomplishment. Contrary to popular opinion, it is NOT the promise of money and benefits or the threat of punishment that gets us moving.
Unfortunately, most companies still operate on the carrot and the stick principle to raise productivity and profits. But Pink says that this action actually shuts down our internal drive over time, especially in fields where creativity and original thought are needed.
“Human beings have an innate inner drive to be autonomous, self-determined and connected to one another,” he says. The most successful people are the ones who are self-directed and devoted to becoming better and better at something that matters. In other words, the highest levels of success and satisfaction come with connecting the quest for excellence to a larger purpose, a purpose that is bigger than ourselves and designed for the well-being of all.
I’m guessing that it won’t really be too surprising” for many of you to learn that it is the intrinsic value of an activity itself that actually motivates us to high levels of productivity, creativity and accomplishment. Contrary to popular opinion, it is NOT the promise of money and benefits or the threat of punishment that gets us moving.
Unfortunately, most companies still operate on the carrot and the stick principle to raise productivity and profits. But Pink says that this action actually shuts down our internal drive over time, especially in fields where creativity and original thought are needed.
“Human beings have an innate inner drive to be autonomous, self-determined and connected to one another,” he says. The most successful people are the ones who are self-directed and devoted to becoming better and better at something that matters. In other words, the highest levels of success and satisfaction come with connecting the quest for excellence to a larger purpose, a purpose that is bigger than ourselves and designed for the well-being of all.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Perfect Time and Place for Perfect Person
Sympatico Coaching and The Currency of Connection are looking for an assistant to help launch the new curriculum and book into the stratosphere. This will be a low key, but high importance addition to an existing team. We are looking for an energetic, tech savvy, fun person to share this journey with. This is a great opportunity for someone interested in evolving their relationship with money (you will be a guinea pig) while earning a bit of the green stuff.
Skills Needed Include:
• High comfort level with technical issues – audio-visual, social media, html, some Photoshop, setting up teleclasses, recording teleclasses, posting videos on website, comfort with Wordpress.
• Standard assistant tasks such as writing reports, keeping a calendar, making travel arrangements, filing, responding to emails, and making phone calls.
• Some networking and possibly some writing.
• Quickbooks familiarity a real plus.
• Curiosity about life!
This will be a very involved team so candidate needs to be willing to be fully engaged in work that has the potential to create extraordinary results. Candidate also needs to be very organized, efficient and have a can-do attitude. We will be creating a variety of workshops and teleclasses, booking speaking engagements, managing a website and blog, posting a regular e-newsletter and generally creating an awareness of Nogie’s upcoming book, The Currency of Connection, Evolving Your Relationship With Money.
Please contact me at Nogie@austin.rr.com for more info.
Skills Needed Include:
• High comfort level with technical issues – audio-visual, social media, html, some Photoshop, setting up teleclasses, recording teleclasses, posting videos on website, comfort with Wordpress.
• Standard assistant tasks such as writing reports, keeping a calendar, making travel arrangements, filing, responding to emails, and making phone calls.
• Some networking and possibly some writing.
• Quickbooks familiarity a real plus.
• Curiosity about life!
This will be a very involved team so candidate needs to be willing to be fully engaged in work that has the potential to create extraordinary results. Candidate also needs to be very organized, efficient and have a can-do attitude. We will be creating a variety of workshops and teleclasses, booking speaking engagements, managing a website and blog, posting a regular e-newsletter and generally creating an awareness of Nogie’s upcoming book, The Currency of Connection, Evolving Your Relationship With Money.
Please contact me at Nogie@austin.rr.com for more info.
Monday, April 5, 2010
No Such Thing as Arrival
Catastrophes do not always come in big packages like the earthquake in Haiti or the tsunami is Indonesia. My friend and neighbor experienced her own catastrophe this weekend. Hers came inside the small package of one family, but it packed just as much punch for them as Katrina did for New Orleans. And her catastrophe sent me into that field of deep inquiry as to “what the heck is happening here?”
Mary had finally found her fairy tale dream come true. After cleaning her life up after a somewhat messy and expensive divorce, she decided to try an online dating site and just as she was about to give up, she met a wonderful, kind man named Robert. It turned out that they were a perfect fit. Mary would soon be able to stop working since Robert was very well off and very interested in traveling the world together. They loved the same activities, shared many interests and generally were grateful at their luck in finding one another. After a year of getting to know each other, of letting their grown children adapt to the idea and of testing the waters, Robert proposed and Mary happily accepted. They were set for a summer wedding and looking forward to a blissful life together.
Easter morning, Robert’s heart stopped. Now everyone waits in limbo to see if Robert will wake up and still be Robert. Will the earth return to its proper axis or will it be forever altered?
When life delivers those experiences that feel like the Universe pulling the rug out from under us, faith in severely tested. I think that sometimes people choose to stay in negative life patterns just because they can’t handle the sensation of thinking all is well only to discover that life actually comes with no guarantees. It takes courage to face the possibility of profound disappointment or loss.
My personal challenge is to remember that although it appeared as if Mary had finally arrived in that land of happily ever after, there really is no such thing as an arrival at all. There is only the journey. Only the constantly shifting sands of our perceptions. When I can let go of my disappointment that there really is no train station labeled “Perfection”, then I can begin to relax into the journey itself. And on a good day, I can even open myself up to looking for the information being communicated to me through the journey, whether it is heart-warming or heartbreaking.
Is the train ride more of a challenge today than it was before Sunday? Absolutely. But no one can say what is around the next curve in the track. No one can predict the love or connections that are possible from this catastrophe. Just like natural disasters bring out the best in humans, our own catastrophes can be the source of extraordinary depths of love and light. So today, even with a heavy heart, I lean out of the train window, stretching to see what the next curve in the journey will bring.
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